


daddy I'm dying...

by Mrs_Understood



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Blood, Blood and Injury, Cancer, Child Death, Cute Kids, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Kids Swearing, Leukemia, Medical Procedures, Medical Trauma, Mentions of Cancer, Sad, Sad Ending, Sickfic, Whump, cursing, no happy ending, really really sad, wade's kid dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:46:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28253370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_Understood/pseuds/Mrs_Understood
Summary: Wade Wilson is Traumatized with a capital T. Everyone knows he's lost his wife, his daughter, his mortality, and his childhood was clearly fucked up...but does anyone really know what it's like to lose a child to cancer? Unless they have? No. And in some ways, Wade doesn't either because his child was anything but normal.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	daddy I'm dying...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you cry :)

“Daddy?” El asked, wandering into Wade’s room. “Daddy please wake up!” 

“Aw- fuck man I’m tired, what is it?” Wade asked, rolling over with his face in his hands. “Did you have a bad dream?” 

“No,” El said, sniffing. “I sneezed,”

“Alright, well… there’s tissues in the bathroom I guess,” Wade said. “You’re a kid you sneeze like every five minutes right?” 

“Daddy somethings wrong,” El said, shifting from one foot to the other. “Turn on the light,” 

“Wrong? What can go wrong with a fucking sneeze?” Wade asked, turning on the light. “Holy shit kid, if you have brains coming out of your nose, lead with that next time!” She yelled. El was completely covered in blood from her nose. 

“It’s brains?” She asked. 

“No… no no no, uh… I’m sure it’s fine, let’s uh… let’s go to the doctor, they probably just have to fix your nose up real quick and then we… uh then we go back to sleep, okay?” 

“Why’s it bleeding through?” She asked, wiping the blood off his mouth with the back of her hand. 

“Well, there’s a lot of reasons uh… dehydration and shit,” 

“Don’t bullshit me, dad,” El said, crossing her arms over her bloody unicorn pj’s.

“Hey, those are big boy words,” Wade said. “And… girl words and- point is you’re too tiny to curse,” 

“How about when I turn 8?” she asked. 

“Then we can talk about it,” Wade said, kissing her on the forehead. He’d spent the first five years of her life trying to figure out how to make her natural hair -which she got from her mother- not look like she was a victim of neglect before he threw in the towel and took her to one of the moms from her school and begged her to put braids in her hair. Since then he’d found someone who actually went to school for hair stuff. “Okay uh… go put on shoes and uh… grab a towel or- I’ll grab a towel, just put on shoes okay?”

“Dad I think there’s blood on the floor…” She said, pointing to the blood pools on the hardwood. 

“Okay I’ll clean that up baby, go get your shoes, please,” Wade said, grabbing a ripped up towel and pulling his sneakers on. “No- El not the ones with fucking wheels on them, you’re fucking bleeding a ton of blood you’re going to slip!” 

“No!” El said, stomping her foot and slipping on the blood pooling at her feet before Wade grabbed her shoulder. “Ow!” 

“El, right now,” Wade said. She flicked him off as she kicked off her shoes and slipped on her flower flip flops. “Okay sweetheart, hold this and tilt your head back okay?” 

“Noses don’t bleed this much do they?” El asked, blinking at him. “I got hit in the face with a baseball at recess last month and my nose bleed for two minutes, and then it stopped and I smacked the bitch who did it,” 

“El! What did I tell you?” Wade asked.

“What?” 

“We don’t smack,” Wade said, grabbing his keys. “What do we do?” 

“We punch,” El said, annoyed. “Or hit them with a rock,” 

“Good girl,” Wade said, kissing her head again. “Come on,” 

“I’m dizzy,” She said, grabbing onto his sleeve. “I don’t wanna walk,”

“...okay,” Wade said. “Okay that’s fine, come here I can carry you,”

“I’ll get blood on you,” El said sadly. 

“It’s okay, come here,” Wade said, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder. “See, it’s okay, you’re okay,” 

“I’m sleepy. Can we go back to bed?” El asked. 

“Soon, we’re just going to get them to fix your nose first okay?” 

“Then we go back to bed?” 

“Of course hunny,” 

\---

“And… what happened again?” The nurse asked. 

“She said that she sneezed and there’s blood like… literally everywhere, like all over the floor and her bed and everything,” Wade said. “And it’s not stopping so like… don’t you stick like a hot thing in their nose and it stops?” 

“Not exactly,” The nurse said, eyeing him suspiciously. “I’ll bring the doctor in, you can wait outside,” 

“Outside? Why can’t I wait with her?” Wade asked. 

“Sir please don’t get agitated we’re doing everything we-” 

“I’m a little fucking adgitated because I want you to fix my daughter, not cart her off somewhere without telling me,” 

“Sir do you have a partner we can call?” The nurse asked, trying to push him out of the room. Which didn’t work very well, because Wade was tall and strong and very very protective of El. 

“No, her mom’s been dead since she was two,” Wade said. 

“And how did your wife die?” The nurse asked. 

“Traffic accident…” Wade said. “Look can you just tell me what’s going on?” He asked, looking at his daughter who was slumped against the wall. 

“We just need CPS to take a quick look,” the nurse said. 

“CPS?” Wade asked. “What the fuck do you need CPS for? What could possibly be more important than fixing my daughter?” 

“We just need to make sure your daughter is safe. If you would just wait in the waiting room,” The nurse said. Wade ran a bloody hand through his hair before stepping past her, kissing El on the forehead before walking out. He was just able to make out their conversation enough to make his blood boil. 

After fifteen minutes of hell waiting, a pretty girl with a bouncy blonde ponytail and her partner, who was almost as tall as Wade, and looked far grumpier, both walked over to him. “Are you Wade Wilson?” 

“Do you know anything about my daughter?” Wade asked. 

“Answer the question sir,” The man snapped. 

“Yes I thought that was implied. What do you know about my daughter?” He asked. 

“We’ll update you as information comes, can you please come into a conference room with us?” 

“If I do, will I see her sooner?” Wade asked. 

“Your corporation is-” 

“I need a yes or a no,” Wade said, tightening his hands on the chair’s flimsy arms. 

“Yes,” The man said. Wade nodded, standing up to follow them.

“Take a seat there sir,” The girl said. ‘We just have a few questions about your daughter Elenor-” 

“El. Her name is El,” Wade said. “She only goes by El,” 

“Alright sir,” The lady said. “Does El spend a lot of time with anyone other than you? A partner, or maybe a daycare?” 

“She’s seven so she’s in school,” Wade said. “But we live alone, my wife died when she was young,”He said. “I don’t really see what this has to do with-” 

“Sir the nurse found major bruising on your daughter,” The man said, nudging the lady with his foot. It must have been something they worked out beforehand. “Bruising that kids shouldn’t have, and we need to figure out who put those bruises on your daughter,” 

“Hold the fuck up,” Wade said. “My daughter. My daughter is covered in bruises? And you’re here questioning me about them?” 

“Sir it’s prodigal in situations like-” 

“I don’t- she doesn't have time for- okay look, you clearly think I’ve been… hurting her… but I haven’t and I can show you, okay? Because there’s something wrong with her and I need you to… to fix that not spend time asking her questions or anything so- give her a X-ray. If I’ve been hurting her bad enough then she would have like… fracture and stuff right? And breaks? And they would all be healing at different stages,” 

“How do you know that?” The man asked, suspicious. 

“Listen man my life hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. I swear on- not my life but… what is my wife's grave? Is that a thing? I swear on my wifes grave I have never hurt my daughter intentionally. When she was born I wouldn’t cut the fucking… teather thing… because I was so scared of hurting her,” He said. 

“That’s actually a good idea,”The lady said, standing up. 

“Wait!” Wade said, getting up with them. “Can I go see El now? Please?” 

“Let us get the X-rays done first,” The man said, walking out. The lady hung behind, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“We want your daughter to be safe and sound,” She said. “If she’s safest with you-” 

“She is,” Wade said. “Trust me she is,” 

“Of course-” 

“Listen, if I was… doing this. If I was hurting her,” Wade said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Would I have brought her here for a nose bleed? I break my nose once a month, I know how to deal with them if it’s normal,” 

“And you don’t think this is normal?” She asked. Wade just looked down at his shirt, which was soaked in blood, and back up at her with a raised eyebrow. “Thank you sir, you’ve given us a lot to think about,” 

\---

“El!” Wade said, bursting into the room as the lady with the bouncy ponytail opened the door. El was curled up on the exam table, but sat up sleepily to look at him as he walked over. “Hey baby girl,” 

“Hi dad,” El said, grabbing at him. “I’m sleepy,” 

“I know hun,” wade said. “Look they got your nose to stop, that’s good,” 

“Dad, they think somethings wrong,” El said. “Really wrong,” 

“I’m sure it’s okay hunny,” Wade said. “And if there is something wrong we can kick it in the ass okay?” 

“Okay dad,” She muttered, holding onto him. “Can I go to sleep now?” 

‘Sure sweetheart, I’ll wake you up when the doctor comes back okay baby girl?” 

“Okay dad,” She said, already half asleep. Wade shifted in the hard plastic chair, petting her head. “Goodnight,” 

“Goodnight sweetheart,” 

It was well over an hour of Wade dozing off in the chair until the doctor knocked, walking straight in. Wade sat up, blinking his eyes at the brightness of the room. “Hello Mr. Wilson, thank you for waiting so long, we have her blood results back,” 

“What’s wrong?” Wade asked, suddenly awake. “If everything was okay you would have just said so, what’s going on?” 

“There where a few elevations that have us concerned, we’re going to need to confirm the diagnosis, but we do have a few referrals for you,” 

“Just tell me what’s wrong with my daughter don’t bullshit me,” Wade said. 

“Well…” 

“Are you a real doctor?” Wade asked. “Honest to God you did your residency and intern thing and… all of that, right?” 

“Well I’m actually a intern-” 

“Go get a real doctor,” Wade said, sighing. 

The intern scrambled away, and Wade waited another fifteen minutes for someone else to show up. Finally, someone who looked like they might have graduated highschool walked in, looking apologetic. 

“I’m sorry for the confusion sir,” The man said. “There is a excess of abnormal white blood cells and a abnormally low count of normal white and red blood cells-” 

“English, please,” Wade snapped. The doctor looked down. 

“You need to understand that it will take more tests for a complead diagnosis but-” The intern started. 

“Sir it’s starting to look like your daughter has leukemia,”

\---

“Dad why are we still in the hospital?” El asked, blinking. “The beds are bigger here, does that mean something?” 

“Hey- Heeey sweetheart, how are you?” Wade asked, jumping up and standing at the side of the bed. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay baby girl,” 

“My body hurts,” She said. “My bones hurt,” 

“It’s okay I’ll uh… I’m going to go see if they can give you something for the pain-” 

“No, stay please,” El said, grabbing his shirt. “I’m tired, I want you to stay,” She said, blinking at him. “Please?” 

“...okay. Yeah okay, you can- I’ll stay. I’ll stay here,” Wade said. “I’ll… I’ll call the nurse so she can help you feel better, okay?” 

“Okay,” El said as Wade pressed the call button. “I want my stuffie,” 

“Which one girl, you have like eight thousand,” Wade said, petting her head. 

“The unicorn,” she said. 

“I have bought you more unicorns than vegetables,” Wade said. 

“The one that has the rainbow mane and white body with blue eyes,” El said. “And the turtle that puts the stars on the ceiling,”

“Okay baby I’ll go get those okay? As soon as the nurse is here,” Wade said, kissing her head. “I’ll go really fast and I’ll get them and come right back,” 

“I feel sick,” El said, curling into a ball. “My stomach hurts,” 

“I know baby girl, I’m sorry,” Wade said. “Look here’s the nurse, I’m going now I’ll be right back know?” 

“Get me slippers too,” El said. “My feet are cold,” 

“Awfully demanding huh?” Wade asked, kissing her head. “I’ll look for your slippers,”

“Thank you daddy,” 

\---

*four and a half months later*

“Hey babygirl did you take your meds today?” Wade asked, kissing her head. “Stupid question, I watched you take them,” 

“I wish my fucking hair would grow back,” El grumbled, throwing her backpack at the wall. 

“Ay! You can’t say that one yet!” Wade said, laughing. “We have chemo tonight okay? Do you want to go pick out a new unicorn or take an old one?”

“Can we get another one?” El asked, excited. 

“Of course, you know the deal, once a month,” Wade said. “Now tell me why your hair makes you so upset?” 

“I got called ET in school today,” El said. “I punched him hard and his front tooth fell out, but now I have extra homework and my hands still bleeding,”

“What’s the kids name? I’ll go find his parents,” Wade said. 

“Jerry Markson,” El said. “But it’s not just him! They all know me as the sick kid. I don’t wanna be a sick kid anymore dad, I just want to be normal,” She said. 

“I know baby, it’s not fair,” Wade said. “But you know what, even if you went ‘sick kid’ you’d be something. It’s my DNA to blame. You are incapable of being normal,” 

“Well that’s fucked up,” El said. Wade just sighed, shaking his head. 

“Let me see your hand,” Wade said. El shoved it across the table. “Wow, you must have got him pretty good huh?” 

“He was crying when I left,” She said. “Do you think that the nice lady will help me do my extra homework again?” 

“Well I sure hope so because I don’t know jack shit about history,” Wade said. “Come on, let's get your coat on, we can swing by the store on the way okay?” 

“Okay,” She said. “Can we look for one with a knife this time?” 

“Sure, we’ll ask the men at the toy store if they have any unicorns that hold knives,” Wade said. 

“Good. I wanna stab that nurse with the weird scrubs,” El said. “I don’t know who she thinks those things are cheering up,” 

“That’s fair,” Wade said. “But please don’t,” 

\---

“Sir I need to speak with you in the hall,” The doctor said. El had been admitted with a slight fever, which for a normal kid would be nothing, but with chemo it was really dangerous. She was curled up in her bed tapping away on her phone with someone. 

“What is it?” Wade asked. “Something we need to talk about or-” 

“El’s scans are back,” The doctor said. “Come on we’ll need to talk in the conference room,”

“Conference room?” Wade asked, twisting his hands. “Shit that’s never good is it?” 

“I’m afraid not sir,” The doctor said. “Come with me,” 

Wade walked with him, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach as he followed the young doctor with the ugly shoes into the glass room, sitting down in one of the spinny chairs as the doctor closed the blinds. “Listen man please don’t bullshit me, just tell me what the hell is wrong with my daughter and what I can do, okay?” 

“We got the scans back,” The doctor said. By now Wade should know them, should be some kind of tight knit community or something but he honestly couldn’t tell them apart. Except for the cool ass girl who wore a unicorn pin for El, but this wasn’t that girl. “They aren't good Wade,”

“What part of ‘don’t bullshit me’ do you not understand? Give it to me man,” Wade snapped. 

“There’s more than we thought,” The doctor said. “A lot more. Her prognosis at this point…” 

“What is it man?” Wade asked. “I’m begging and shit here, just tell me okay?” 

“You need to prepare yourself sir, if the surgeon here didn’t have such a fondness for you two- sir most people would send her home at this point,” 

“How long does she have?” Wade asked. The doctor stared at him, looking away while Wade kept looking at him. “How long damnit?”

“Four months. Maybe less, maybe a little more but probably not,” The doctor said. “That's the best case scenario, but- sir she’s very very sick and...there’s a few different things,” 

“Listen I can tell that you don’t want to be telling me this because I’m the unstable dad that threw a chair out the window… and punched the doctor… and broke into the ER- the point is, if that was your little girl in there, I need you to tell me what you would do. If it was the person who has kept your mouth off the barrel of your own gun for eight years, what would you do?”

“I would stop chemo,” Someone else from the door said. Wade spun around, seeing the doctor with the unicorn pin. “I would have stopped chemo a month ago, and then I would get them some stellar pain meds, and then I would let them die,” 

“Dr. Drary I really don’t think this is the time or the place-”

“See this is what I fucking wanted,” Wade said, slapping the table hard, making the doctor sitting across from him jump almost a foot. “Thank fuck for you Drary!” 

Dr. Drary chuckled, stepping in. “You’re welcome,” 

“Sir you do understand that I am telling you that your daughter is going to die-” 

“Get him out of here,” Wade said.

“Sir-” 

“Didn’t you hear me get him the fuck out right now!” Wade screamed. Dr. Dreary gestured to the other guy, who stepped out into the hall. 

“I’m sorry Wade,” Drary said. “If there was something we could do trust me that’s what we would be doing right now,” 

“You really think we should stop?” Wade asked. 

“It’s only going to put you in more debt,” The doctor said. “Half of what we’re doing has been pro bono anyway. It’s not going to help her Wade,” 

“So what, send her home and die?” Wade asked. “Just give up?” 

“Give her a life,” The doctor said. “Give her a month where she can play on the playground, and race up and down the halls, and play with her unicorns, before things go really south,”

“How much farther south can we go?” Wade asked, resting his head on the desk. “Isn’t the earth round?”

\---

“I want the chemo,” El said. 

“Ellie, it’s not going to do much-” Wade said.

“How many months would it give me,” El asked. “I know I’m going to die, but how many months,”

“With the chemo?” Dr. Drery asked. “About six, maybe seven, maybe less,”

“And without?” El asked. 

“Four months at max,” The doctor said. 

“Then I want the chemo,” El said. “The strongest and the most you can give me, right away,” 

“Ellie it’s going to suck-” 

“Don’t call me Ellie. You call me that when things go wrong, and we’re… right on path,” El said. “They said this would happen, and that’s fine, but I don’t wanna be the stoic cancer kid. I don’t wanna die and I want the drugs,” 

The doctors shot Wade a look over her bed. “You know what this means, to continue with meds-”

“...you heard the kid,” Wade said. “If she wants the drugs we give her the drugs,”

“Yeah but,” El said, fiddling with her oxygen mask with a smirk. “Can we throw in some of the fun ones too?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that-” The intern said, looking at Dr. Dreary, who was laughing along with Wade. “Uh-” 

“I wasn’t raised under a rock,” El said. “I want the drugs that people get shot over man,” She said, making Wade and Dreary giggle more.

“Doctor I think you might need to go for a water break?” The intern said, shifting. 

“Oh just take him off my case already,” El said. “He can’t handle sarcastic dying kids, and it looks like it’s going to throw up,” 

“El we’ve talked about this,” Wade said. “If you’re going to make fun of them you gotta go for the jugular, are we just ignoring those scrubs?” 

“They do make you look like a hippo,” El said. “You’re not ugly, it’s just your personality that’s fucked up, you know?” 

“See, that’s some good harassment there El, never go after something they can’t control like the premature receding hairline this weirdo has,” Wade said, pointing at him. “Make fun of him for not having the good sense to chop of the pony tail,” 

“It is really stringy,” El said. “Have you ever touched a bottle of shampoo before?”

“Looks like it’s time for rounds, if you would just uh… step out for a minute,” Dr. Drery said, stifling a laugh. The intern walked out with his head down, staring at his own ugly shoes. “That was mean,” 

“Aw come on, can’t you cut the dying kid some slack?” El asked with a grin. 

“You’re mean,” She revised, adjusting her IV bag. 

“I take great pride in it,” 

\---

“Look this is a very dangerous surgery, I would like for you to-” Dr. Dreary started, before El waved at her. 

“It’s not gunno work, you know,” El said. “Even if I wake up, it’s not going to work,” 

“I thought you wanted more time-” 

“I do, but… you can’t tell my dad how this is going to go before things go down, okay? Because he’s going to totally freak when I die and I don’t wanna deal with that shit in my last few hours,” 

“El that’s for your father to worry about,” Dreary said. “I will be kind and-” 

“That’s bullshit and we both know it,” El said. “He’s… he’s not very stable. I mean he does his best to act like it with me but… he’s really close to the edge, and I think this might push him over,” She said. “So I’m putting it off until I die so it’s someone else's problem,”

“El you-” 

“Okay right, very dangerous blah blah blah, where were we?” She said. 

“Right uh-” Dr. Dreary said, blinking. 

“Oh, I see, dying kids know they’re dying and you get emotional. Go blink it off and then come back. I liked you because you don’t do this shit,” 

“Of course,” She said, composing herself. “As you know there is about a 14% chance that you wake up, and a uh- a even lower survival rate during recovery,” 

“Cool. Can I get some jello?” 

\---

Much to both the Doctors and El’s surprise she woke up from the surgery, which took upwards of 15 hours and -according to Wade- a lot of coffee. Clearly it didn’t do much because he looked like the last survivor of a zombie movie glued to a terrible plastic chair. El blinked awake, narrowing her eyes as soon as she saw they were doing rounds. 

“So how dead am I?” She asked, getting a chuckle from Dreary and her father. 

“Not dead at all,” Dr. Dreary said. “Yet,” 

“Oh well that’s just great,” El said. “What’d you give me, a month?” 

“Two weeks,” Wade said. “Which would be just enough time to watch those movies I have lined up. 

“Cool. can I get a unicorn?” She asked, grinning. 

“Yeah, sure. I can get you as many unicorns as you want,” Wade said, patting her head. 

“Perfect. Now why do I have to stair at these drooling weirdos?” El asked. “Shouldn’t you guys be doing rounds or something?” 

“Who wants to go?” Dr. Dreary said. 

“Uh, name; Elinor Wilson, age: 8 years old, originally diagnosed with stage IV leukemia that has moved to her brain, currently presented with liver disease and late stage failure, kidney disease and late stage failure, weakening of the aortic valve due to a cardiac surgery after coding. Current prognosis: two weeks,” 

“You sweat a lot you know,” El said, wrinkling her nose. “Does he always do that or… just around us dying kids?”

\---

Wade had kept his promise, stocking up on a million snacks and all the cheesy movies they felt like, and they were absolutely not talking about what was happening. Not that they weren't both paying attention. El was painfully aware everytime she fell asleep how her days were ticking away, and if her fathers pained expressions were anything to go by, so was he. They were dozing off again, a few dozen movies in, when El bolted up, wheezing with one hand over her mouth and the other on her chest.

“El? Hey- El what’s uh… what's happening?” Wade asked, bolting up on the sofa. “What- are you okay what’s- okay I’m calling your doctor- actually no we’re going to the hospital, come on,” 

“Dad?” El wheezed, looking down at her hand. “Dad it’s not-” 

“Shush don’t talk, it’s okay baby,” Wade said, picking her up. 

“Dad it’s blood,” El said, holding up her bloody hand. 

“That’s- they can fix that, I think,” WAde said. 

“Dad…” 

“No no no you’ve got a few more days, you’re okay they can get you fixed okay? It’s gonna-” 

“Dad there’s something wrong,” El said, holding onto his shirt. “This- this is wrong Dad it- everything hurts,” 

“Okay come on we just have to get to the car and-” 

“Daddy I’m dying,” El said. “I can feel it, I don’t wanna go to the car, can we just lie down,” 

“No no no you’re not-” 

“Please dad?” El asked. 

“Okay I- here I can call an ambulance and then- year we can lie down,” Wade said. 

“No,” El said. “They can’t stop this, not this time,” 

“El I-” 

“Can you hand me my unicorn?” El asked, turning her head to the other side of the sofa where her stuffie was. Wade bolted up, stretching it and handing it to her. “Thank you. It’s okay,” 

“No it’s not you-” 

“Dad, I’m okay,” El said. “It doesn't hurt now, that’s probably a bad sign,” 

“No no no it’s- I’m glad it doesn't hurt,” Wade said, blinking at her. “Baby girl you’re okay alright? No matter what happens I promise that you are going to be okay baby girl,” 

“It doesn't hurt at all,” El said. “Not even a little bit Daddy. I can’t remember the last time that happened. Even with the good drugs,” 

“I know baby, it’s been so long huh?” Wade said, moving to cradle her a little better. “I know it’s okay alright sweetheart? You can let go it’ll be okay here,” 

“Is mom waiting in heaven for me dad?” El asked. 

“Yeah she is,” WAde said. “Just hold on, they are going to be here soon and help you, it’s all- El? El?” Wade asked, shaking her as she went limp against him. “No this isn’t right it’s not suppose to happen like this- EL-” 

\---

“So it looks like what happened is the valve of her heart was unable to hold due to the compromise from the cardiac surgery, and at the same time the muscles gave way, which is why chest compressions didn’t work,” Dr. Dreary said. They were sitting in a white room now, it wasn’t decorated like the ones always where when he came in with El. And the chairs were hard now, not squishy. 

“That in addition to the multisystem failure, her body was failing her Wade there wasn’t anything else we could do. No one could have fixed that, it was just her time,” 

“She was eight,” Wade said. “Eight short fuckign years of pain and medicen and tubes, it’s no one’s time at eight, don’t you- it shouldn’t have happened,” 

“Cancer has a mind of its own, Wade, it doesn't care for should or shouldn’t,” She said. 

“Yeah well I do and I say that it shouldn’t have fucking happend! I mean what did you miss huh? What went wrong- how could we have stopped-” 

“There was no stopping Wade, we did everything,” She said. “Everything, there was no way- Wade where are you going?” 

“I’m going to get drunk and then try and shoot myself in the head, what do you expect?” Wade asked. “My daughter’s dead, my wife’s dead, the only other people in the world that know about me either want to kill me or want me to kill someone for me, i’m going to try and fucking kill myself,” 

“You need to think over all your options Wade there’s support groups and-” 

“Don’t fucking worry it won’t work,” Wade said, picking up his backpack. “It never does,” 

“Wade-” 

“Hey, maybe I can go cry over my wife's grave and my daughters at the same time, silver linings huh?” 

“Wade you can’t just-” 

“Say fuck it and live in a dirty apartments trying to kill myself while killing other people at the same time?” Wade asked. “Give up on life because my daughter gotta? Or curse in front of the pedes surgeon because they are such special little snowflakes?” 

“Sir you-” 

“Fuck it all,” Wade said, moving to leave the room. 

“Page psych,” 

**Author's Note:**

> Didya cry?


End file.
